There's a doctor I've found

So, yesterday was eye doctor day. I'd been worried that my dread mutant killer glaucoma (so-called because my great-grandfather's eyes hemorrhaged & he bled to death) was acting up again; it seemed my peripheral vision was worsening, so I scheduled an appointment with the Invisible Eye Doctor. Trish & I walked together to the Perky Pam Layout, & I headed down the block to the Invisible Eye Clinic. While I was waiting Noncorean entered; she'd scheduled an appointment cuz she was having pain in her eye sockets. She said she liked the Fleetwood Mac tape I'd made her.

The pressure was fine, 19 & 8, but the visual fields test showed a mild improvement--which is impossible; the optic nerve itself is dead. He chalked it up to test error. I may be getting a new lens in my left eye; the right I'm now officially blind in.

That's all for now, except for: buy my book, The Mind-Warp Era, under pen name W.C. Leadbeater, at amazon.com. It details my experiences with glaucoma--including medical marijuana.

And the Machine wept blood

Stupid title, I know, but I used it for my email to Ted this morning; the guy who collaborated with me on "Trinities" is helping me write a sci-fi/horror/action adventure.  Actually, I've had that title for years, I've just never used it.

This is a morning quite like other mornings, save we were cool last night.  Jeffer Auss, the good Scooby, came by last night & installed our air-conditioner in the bedroom.  We already had one in the living room; but Cathy the Cleaner gave us a new/used one (it was new for us but used for her) that, being quite bulky & heavy, I didn't want to install myself, especially being as bad at mechanical matters as I am. 

Yesterday I ran all over town with Carmen, & picked up some styrofoam to plug the edges of the window where the sheeting of the a/c had come off.  We also went out to the Buckadingdong store (where you can buy Ding-dongs for less than a buck; it's not a buck a Ding-dong) to pick up some duck tape, then over to Fat Albert's Sons to buy 20 buckadingdongs of groceries: I'll be making Mexican meatloaf for Trish tonight.  But in the middle of the store I started to have a dissociative experience.  One psychiatrist diagnosed these as panic attacks, but it's not really something Buspar or Xanax can deal with.  It strikes me as being some kind of more-like drug flashback; acid contains night.  Nicotine Tim, of course, would feel that they aren't really all that debilitating, but Timothy Leary's dead.  Anyway, I told Carmen about it so she drove me out to the Iron Claw Mountains & First Lake, to relax & enjoy the Invisible Landscape. 

When it began to be Vadis & unabated (the anatomy of an obsession) I came home & put the groceries away.  I found Trish down in the basement (I need my eyes excited) watching the Buffster kick ass; I mean, what else would Trish be doing?  I entered that strange, demonic dimension myself, then around 4:00 reheated the spaghetti in the microwave, & cooked some spinach. 

After Friendly Fred drove Trish to work (possibility of showers) I kicked back & read LOTR, which led to eyestrain, so I checked my email--nothing from Ted yet--& then Jeffer arrived.  His X-acto knife was the perfect tool for the job, his power drill shocks a million miles away, & it only took a few minutes to install--he commented on how the dread Blanket-man is remiss by not-helping me with such simple matters, but Biggie's marriage changed him.  When Jeffer finished we watched TV for awhile, & then Trish came home with a couple Bozo Burgers & some parfaits--since Karen our Kaseworker gave her a few buckadingdongs to buy hamster treats she spent some on dessert.

Then we went to bed & enjoyed the coolth.  Sleep was solid, & the morning was normal but not NORML; God & I'll be glad when they legalize it for medical purposes in the Invisible Landscape.

The Iron Claw Mountains

Neurosurgeons scream for more...

Last week, Wednesday thru Friday, I went to the Iron Claw Mountains with the people from Perky Pam's Place for a camp-out.  Trish had to stay home to work, but managed well without me--I feared that she'd lose her keys as she's almost walked out of the house without them a couple times, but I had nothing to worry about.  The day before we left we picked up Trish's new series of the Buffster at the vid-store & watched a few episodes.  This immediately followed Susan's going away party: Susan the Secretary at Iron Claw Mental Health left Invisible City for Missoula the other day. 

The next day Trish & I walked over to Iron Claw House together at 9:00, & waited around for people to show up.  When the van pulled out of the parking lot Trish stayed behind, while Cheri drove us down to a spot on 2nd Lake.  Besides myself there were Cathy, Colleen (the Noncorean one), Mary, Ronnie, & Wayne; Charlene & Karen Downstairs (her daughter) drove back & forth from town.  the first thing that we did when we arrived was to put up the tents; Ronnie & I shared Brawny's.  Then Cheri & Noncorean slung some cheerseburgers on the grill & I don't remember exactly what I did for the rest of the day, save that I read a few more chapters of LOTR & played both Ronnie & Cathy interminable games of war that went nowhere.  Cathy tried to lure me into the water, but I didn't go in cuz the thought of being exposed to bacteria-infested water scared me; since my eye surgeries I have to be very careful to keep water out of my eyes.  That night I went to bed early & missed out on all the yummy Smores that I shouldn't have anyway. 

The next day was more of the same, save that I actually ate the Smores; Cheri & Noncorean fixed hash browns, eggs & sausage for brecchie, bratwurst for lunch, & steak (nummy!) for supper.  In the morning most of the people drove up to the waterfall to wash their hair, but Mary & I stayed behind to await the impending arrival of the mighty Insect Slayer, who is also the Lady Tron.  Brawny gave her a ride to the lake in his trusty Batmobile, where I have known much fear & loathing (cf. www.onewest.net/~jbauer/batmans.car).  Trish stayed for a couple hours, though unfortunately when the Magic Bus returned from the waterfalls we found that Cathy had injured herself; fell down a mountain.  She had a nasty scrape on her leg & a bruise on her back.  After Trish left I mostly did the same-old-same-old, which certainly doesn't beat doing the Strand. 

Friday we had eggs & sausage for brecchie--she who invented Karen Relationships--& then started to pack the tents; cold bratwurst for lunch.  When we finally came back to Invisible City I walked my stuff the 2-3 blocks to our house.  I found Trish with the a/c on watching the Buffster.  However, a headache that wouldn't quit forced her to miss work that night.  Being extremely hungry, I ordered out a pizza & we invited Fred over to split it with us.  Then after Trish's nap, we went down in the basement to get my eyes excited to view Buffy & Anya.  About 9:00 Winonah from next door rang the doorbell, which fortunately we heard: she told us some drunken bum had opened the door of our car & entered unlawfully, so we called the copz & they busted the guy.  It was real comedy show.

The Day of Savages

Today is Sunday, our official-stuff anniversary; when we were married last year we screwed up on the blood test & had to postpone our exchange of rings/vows, but had the ceremony on June 18, as planned.  Last night we celebrated with Ooga-Chugga Religion, but it left Trish too tired for the real kind (Church, not bouncy-bouncy), & we had to miss it today.  Mass is too early in the summer, anyway.  She wants to use the time to catch up on the housework, prior to Cathy the Cleaning Lady's own invasion of our humble domain, which we now own, thanks to Biggie the Blanket.  I think she's responding well to Risperdal, even though she's tired all the time.  As for myself, I'll be camping with the people from Perky Pam's Place on Wednesday-Friday, but Trish has to stay home & work.  However, her TA will be driving her out to camp every day in the morning.  This will give Ted some headstart time on our new novel, & if you haven't bought the old one yet, it's The Mind-Warp Era by (pen name) W.C. Leadbeater & is available at www.iuniverse.com or www.amazon.com.  It's the story of a fantastic futuristic world that has been Mind-Warped by WMD & everyone's insane.

Terminal addicts of the Orgasm-Death

Cuz it makes me feel like I'm a man when Perky Pam puts a spike into my vein... same thing goes for Bumble Bee Girl--yeah, & it's true that we wrecked the basement bed going bouncy-bouncy. Today Trish & I both go up to Perky Pam's Place for a shot of haldol decanoate, a drug so potent it can only be compared to William S. Burroughs' "the Orgasm-Death", or at least he originated the term... perhaps in Nova Express or perhaps in Naked Lunch or elsewhere; Nova Express being the only Burroughs book I own, & I think the Invisible Library tossed their Naked Lunch, though I do have a copy of the film, which the Grim Reaper gave me for X-mas many years ago.

I like this drug, & it's really helped me, with everything but Scoobification. Although I've heard that members of the dread Scooby Club are no longer trying to persuade mental patients not to take their "pills", Cute Noncorean has informed me that her outpatient treatment counselor has insisted she stop taking her meds, as Scoobies cannot be taking chemicals, especially not dem God-made herb for medical purposes... sure, if they wanted to leave it there, OK, maybe, I mean I understand some nut-cases in the government are convinced we have to get rid of this dangerous weed, but... to object to prescription medication..? I'm thinking of going to a Narcoholics Numinous meeting & telling them that I used my pills for my higher power, to quit Narcohol, as I have difficulties being Numinous--OD'ed on philosophy of science in grad school.

So today, after my shot--following a morning at the Layout--I want to do something creative. Probably work on that short story in turn based on a Voyager screenplay that had no hope of selling, so euthymic did my Zyprexa have me; I'm happier now that I'm on Risperdal. Since I want to submit the thing to Asimov's, I've had to throw away 90% of the material, as I put the story on the internet & they don't accept previously published stories, even if all you did was stick it on the net. I'm just wondering, though, that if I do submit it to Asimov's, how Sheila Williams will react--Gardner loved my stuff, but always noted it was "wrong for [them]" & I think she's the reason why.

Even as I write this massive missive, Bumble Bee Girl has awakened & is pouring her morning coffee. She likes having 2 cups of coffee before taking her meds, so I try to have her up by 9:00. I don't know why she's so sleepy; hope that she's not entering another depression. Her job has been going well for her.

Well, that's it for the good ol' blog today. Will wright (with both hemispheres) more some other time, perhaps again when I'm bored.

Wednesday morning, day is dawning

Well, actually, dawn occurred a couple hours ago, but I felt like alluding to the Velvet Underground. I'm lost in my allusions. Of course, my hot books (like The Mind-Warp Era under pen name W.C. Leadbeater & available at ) are totally predominated by allusions, that being among the dread schizophrenic symptoms that propels The Mind-Warp Era into high hilarity--that, & the U-boat (my submarines are real atomic). Of course, allusions can be overdone: when I was studying creative writing in the City of Night, John Cawelti pointed to something & asked, "Why's that in there?" I told him it was an allusion to Songs from the Woods by Jethro Tull, & he said, "The word itself is an allusion, you don't have to put in the whole song." So Wenonah (the Lyon Greene) was enthralled with The Mind-Warp Era because that crazy music really drives you insane (whoops! I did it one more time!), but I tried to tell her it wasn't all deliberate on my part, like the line about "dire straits"; could be, but I'm not sure--to me, unlike her, there's far more that makes my writing funny than music, even though the music is my special friend, for years was my only friend, besides dread Nicotine Tim.

So it's almost 9:00 AM, & Bumble Bee Girl is finally out of bed & drinking her morning coffee before taking her pills (which is a non-Scoobified thing to do; Jeffer Auss is the only Scooby I still hang out with). She had a bowl of cereal for brecchie, & will be taking her shower shortly, before we go out to the Perky Pam Layout to be day-treated by Trish, Wayne Zymore's sister-in-law. She's reading my hot book right now, & I'm eager to discuss it with her, even though she's only read the first chapter, or even, the last time I asked, wasn't even thru with that--but this is because she was busy over the Fourth.

Dr. Vickie (& Mr. Vic) is also reading my hot book, & she, too, has stalled out in the first few chapters, before even the dread Dog-Yummy Factory (#7), which as everyone knows by now is a true tale of savage dread among killer penguins. I've asked her to call NAMI (the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) about it, as they keep dodging my calls, but I'm not certain that they're the best place for the project, as they have absolutely no sense of humor where mental illness is involved, & The Mind-Warp Era is terribly hilarious. To give an example of what I mean, they may object to Slime-thing calling the Hotel Gonzo the Bobo Boat. I mean, the premise here is that we have some near-future, Harry Canyon-like North Dakota & Nite City, where bio-psych weapons have created mass insanity, transforming W.C. "Lead" Leadbeater into his favorite comic book monster, Slime-thing, stalwart defender of Truth, Justice & Niceness. His initial inclination is to think VADIS (the Vast Active Destructive Intelligence System), a satellite from the planet Lucifer, did this to him, but actually it was Saklas the Demiurge, a being from the farthest star who is beyond God & Sisyphus.

Trish is still drinking her coffee (Scooby-dew), & I might not have any time to do any writing before we head out to the Layout (shot day for Trish is tomorrow), but I've found the proper spot in "Trinities" to insert some background on the various weird religions that are so central to the plot, but so under-developed in the last couple drafts. The story has been Critter'd & re-Critter'd, & almost made it into Analog. Once we have this done & in the mail I want to work on a Cartesian nightmare, "Ghost & the Machine", mostly cuz I want to turn it into a screenplay, starring an equivalent to the Governator; big-budget action-adventure with horror overtones & lots of special effects. This might potentially make some big buckadingdongs, & take me off of disability, which I wouldn't mind if I could make enough that it would be no problem to keep going with expensive meds that actually work--it's sick, the price of medicine.

Well, at least we no longer have to worry about Cheri taking the skinheads bowling. A Hope-less camp approaches, & I'm hoping to have a good time out in the Iron Claw Mountains, even though it'll mean not-seeing Trish for a few days. She's been so much better since she's been on Risperdal. Schizophrenia, be the death of me!